Bacon Soda to the Extreme

Rhett and Link made an entire meal out of bacon. At about the 2:07 mark, they pulled out the bacon soda (which is gross by itself - see this post to read my review), but then they made is SO MUCH WORSE...

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Granny Tries Gross Sodas

Granny tries to find her beloved Pepsi:

If the embedded video doesn't work, you can find it on Facebook here.

And I've had the 3 "gross" sodas that she tried: click these links to see my reviews of Sweet Corn soda, Buffalo Wing soda, and Bacon soda.

The Four Worst Sodas at Rocket Fizz

I found an article about a new Rocket Fizz store opening up in Portland OR. It's 3 years old, but it's written so hilariously snarky that I had to share it. Here are 2 great opening quotes of his first impression of the store:

They've got a massive selection organized on the "fuck it" system (the first and less prestigious invention of Dewey behind his eponymous Decimal system).

I considered the Snooki soda, but assumed it would be meatball flavor.

He went on to review these 4 sodas:

Ranch Dressing, Buffalo Wing, Coffee, and Bacon Soda in his apartment.

I've seen all of those, but I've never considered the coffee soda because I don't like coffee. I've been scared to try the ranch or buffalo wing because I HAVE had the bacon soda, and it was horrible. (In fact, in my review of it, I noted that it had the saltiness and smokiness of a "hairy, sweaty, Russian man.") Here were his 4 reviews of these novelty sodas:

Coffee Soda
I started here because it seemed the closest to a thing somebody might actually want. And I was right. It tastes nothing like coffee but was thoroughly delicious. More like a creamy root beer float. A good start. Maybe everything will be this good! (Spoiler alert: no)

Bacon Soda
It's been 10 years I've had bacon, but non-vegetarians like to remind me that it's delicious. So maybe the "artificial bacon" flavor in my soda will be an awesome experience I can enjoy while still maintaining my moral superiority at the breakfast table. Also it sounds like "baking soda" which is fun. Bacon soda... is not fun. It's got a wafting chemical smell, like chlorine or something, and tastes much the same. It has a slight aftertaste of meatiness, and a duringtaste of pure awfulness. It tasted less like a soda with bacon flavor and more like drinking the water out of a hot tub after a bunch of pigs just finished relaxing in it. Do not buy or consume this product if you are pregnant, may become pregnant, or was the product of a human pregnancy.

Buffalo Wing Soda
This seemed like the most outlandish flavor choice, so maybe it'll be the best? Actually, Buffalo Wing Soda tastes okay. I didn't detect the tiniest hint of buffalo sauce and the orange color tricked my brain into thinking it tasted like orange cream. I wouldn't really recommend this, unless you wanted a vague flavor and a funny label. If not, just buy an orange cream soda.

Ranch Dressing Soda
And the big finish... ranch dressing. Just popping off the cap revealed a nauseating smell that, an hour later, hasn't entirely left my apartment. There was a vague sense that I was drinking something ranch flavored, but it had such a strong chemically taste I was pretty sure this was ranch's evil robot twin. It tasted more like an industrial byproduct than a delicious mix of sour cream and herbs, like it was extruded from the ranch-sands of Canada. I was able to drink the least of this one and I even felt guilty pouring this one down the drain for fear it would end up in the river and a fish would take a sip and instantly vomit.

Bonus: Buffalo Wing (soda) dipped in Ranch Dressing (soda)
Since these flavors are frequently combined, I thought I'd try it.
Result: NOT BETTER.

Click here for the full article. This has me wanting to try the coffee soda, so maybe I'll have to grab that once "Minnesota's Largest Candy Store" opens up for the season.

Lester's Fixins Bacon Soda. Yes, BACON Soda.

Alright... It was our last day in Vegas, and it was time to get adventurous.  I busted out the Bacon Soda.

Image source.

The label.

Brand: Lester's Fixins Bacon Soda.

Origin: Camarillo, CA.

Purchase Place: Rocket Fizz, Las Vegas, NV.

Sweetener: Cane sugar.

Review: It didn't taste like bacon. It tasted like Bac-Os or Bacon Bits... only in liquid form... with carbonation. That's all a nasty combination. It was salty and smoky, much like bacon (or a hairy, sweaty, Russian man). But in soda form, this is just disgusting. I took 2 tiny sips and had to dump the rest. Lester's Fixins Sweet Corn Soda had slightly more (better) flavor, but I could not stomach this.

Score: 1 out of 10.

Vegas Trip!!

My wife and I just got back from 4 days in Vegas. Our trip included a stop at Rocket Fizz Soda Pop and Candy Shop.

This is ALL Root Beer!!

All of their individual kinds of soda on the wall.

They had 3 carts of soda like this!

Here's a selection of 15 different kinds of orange soda (under some taffy).

Over 20 kinds of Lemon Lime soda.  At my count, I've had 6 of these.

Lots of bottles in the coolers in the back.

Unfortunately, I couldn't purchase a case or 2 of soda and have them mail it home to me - I was hoping they could do that. So I had to only purchase what I was going to drink in the next 24 hours before we left for home. I limited myself to 6 bottles:

Bulldog Root Beer, Dad's Root Beer, Faygo Root Beer, Sioux City Sarsaparilla,
Lester's Fixins Bacon Soda, and Snooki's Wild Cherry.

My 6 sodas sitting in our hotel room over-looking The Bellagio's fountain.

So I'll be posting my reviews of all of these over the next week or 2.  Stop by to see what I thought of my Vegas sodas.